I’m Going To Be Cremated

That’s usually the knee jerk reaction someone gives whenever there’s a conversation about funerals.

“I don’t want to deal with all that casket stuff.” “I’m going to be cremated when I die.”

Really? Where are you going to get this done? Did you just really even think about what you said before you opened your mouth?

No, you didn’t. You have no idea what you’re family is in store for on the darkest day of their life. No idea.

Now if you really are going to be cremated when you die, then make your pre arrangements now. Take the burden off of your spouse, your family, and friends.

Pre pay and freeze the price and carry an ID card around in your personal effects that says: “At time of death call this number.”

Then the next time you say: “I’m going to be cremated.” Pull out your card and proudly let everyone know that you HAVE taken care of your final demise, and by doing so HAVE taken the burden off of all family members.

See now? That was soooo easy wasn’t it?

The Truth Behind Cremations!

Have you noticed when you engage in conversation dealing with dying, or you go to a funeral involving a traditional burial, it seems everyone says they’re going to be cremated!

Why? Because quite frankly they have no idea what they’re talking about.

Some fail to remember that in order to be cremated you still need the services of a funeral director and funeral home.

Did you know there are 72 decisions that need to be made on the darkest day of your surviving family member’s lives.

Cremated and scattered is a knee jerk reaction to the entire death process.

That’s what people say when they are defensive about the subject.

We’re talking death here. The loss of a loved one. What about the celebration of a life that’s been lived? What about remembering and wanting to be remembered?

Are people pulling out the “C” word because they have no clue as to what they are talking about? YES!

Think about it. Do you really want someone to come by the house and dispose of a body with no service, no nothing?

Just poof, and erase a life that’s been lived. A life that had meaning.

Cremation is really no different than traditional burial. You can have the same type service and viewing of the body for closure as you would for full body burial.

There are all types of options to consider.

Saying you’re going to be cremated is one thing, but pre planning your cremation and your memorial service and memorialization options is quite another.

Think about what you say before you say it so you won’t come off sounding like a complete idiot.

Ok, so you want to be cremated? Well then make your arrangements and take that burden off your loved ones by pre paying. Now that’s total piece of mind and one of the best damn gifts you can ever give to your family!

Reduce Stress-Preplan Today!

Through the years advisers with our company have had the opportunity to help thousands of families make their cremation, funeral, and cemetery arrangements.

You’d be surprised at the number of of families who have not completed any of their arrangements and had to makie gigantic financial and emotional decision in a matter of hours with little or no time to figure out any possible options.

Those who have planned, even just a very short time before being faced with a loss, have embraced the idea of pre planning as the best way to deal with the inevitable.

Thinking ahead can really help you make informed and thoughtful decisions about your funeral arrangements.

It affords you the opportunity to choose specific items you want and need and compare prices offered by different funeral providers in any given marketing area.

We pride ourselves in helping families make the right decisions based on their budgeting goals.

The death of a loved one is stressful. Fortunately, pre planning is something is something you can do now to help your family.

These decisions have nothing to do with you, but have everything to do with your family. it’s not about you!

Pre planning can help your family make perfect choces, reduce their decision making, save money, prevent emotional overspending, and gives your family peach of mind by reducing the burden of making the decisions on the darkest day of their life.

Planning ahead helps us celebrate a life well lived.

Pre planning is a gift of love to your family, so just go ahead and get it done.

More Funeral & Cemetery Regulations on Horizon!

U.S. Rep. Bobby Rush is proposing federal legislation to strengthen regulation of the country’s cemeteries and funeral homes.

The Chicago Democrat is to unveil the Bereaved Consumers Protection Act during a news conference Monday.

The act would amend the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule. The rule prohibits unfair or deceptive acts or practices in the funeral operations industry.

If passed into law, Rush says the act would improve cemetery record-keeping and make funeral contracts more clear for consumers, among other things.

The move comes after allegations surfaced that four workers at a suburban Chicago cemetery dug up bodies and stacked remains in order to resell plots.

All four Burr Oak Cemetery workers have pleaded not guilty.

Funerals Are Always A Difficult Time

Funerals are a difficult time, regardless of your relationship with the deceased. Funerals aren’t what they were a decade ago, however. Increasingly personal and unique, with an increase in non-traditional funeral services, it is oftentimes challenging to determine what is or isn’t appropriate, from how to express grief to funeral etiquette in changing times. There is no right or wrong answer, but the guiding principle should be your concern for the wishes of the family.

Obituaries can often provide useful information about what can be expected at a service, whether flowers are welcome, or donations to a favorite charity. As funerals become more of the personal celebration of a life, so too, do the practices we’ve come to associate so closely with a funeral service. One of the biggest questions asked today is what is appropriate to wear to a funeral. Tradition used to hold that black was the only appropriate color, but that is no longer the case. Funeral attire is still generally a more formal affair, but bright colors are not necessarily out of place at a service. While more conservative dress is still favored most often, funerals that may reflect a favorite hobby or certain lifestyle may find mourners arriving at a funeral home in biker gear, to give but one example. Again, the presiding rule is to respect the wishes of the family and the deceased, and to pay tribute to them in a way that’s fitting.

Funerals are a time for mourning, but they are also a time of celebration, of remembering a life and sharing those connections. It’s natural to grieve, but it’s also natural to smile through those tears and laugh as you exchange stories with family and friends. Beyond extending condolences, don’t be afraid to offer comfort to a grieving family member by relaying a treasured memory or two about their loved one. Sending a card with a note expressing similar sentiments is also a welcome reminder to families that they are not alone in their loss.

While funerals continue to evolve, the core meaning behind them hasn’t changed. They are an opportunity to remember, to show care for both the departed and the survivors, and to come together as a community to pay tribute to a life. Being aware and respectful of the family’s wishes should provide you with all the guidance you need. Just knowing that you’re there and that you care is often more than enough.

Never Underestimate the Value of a Funeral

The value of a meaningful funeral should never be underestimated. Funerals give families and friends an opportunity to come together to celebrate a life, to mourn together and also reflect together as they share memories of a loved one and look back on times spent together. As funeral service offerings become more diverse, sometimes the choices available become overwhelming, or come with questions of their own. One of the rising trends within funeral service is cremation, a practice that is by no means new, but increasingly popular.

People who are making end of life arrangements have a lot of questions, and surveys show that consumers have a lack of information regarding funeral options and planning. There are still a lot of myths surrounding cremation. Cremation is a means of preparing human remains for final disposition. Choosing cremation in no way suggests that a memorial service, or even a traditional funeral service, can’t or shouldn’t take place. Cremation actually provides you with increased flexibility when you make your funeral and ceremony arrangements. You might, for example, choose to have a traditional funeral service before the cremation – in the funeral home, with the body present. This is not an unusual occurrence, and in situations where families are split on the issue, is often a good compromise. There can also be a memorial service at the time of cremation or after the cremation with the urn present; or a committal service at the final disposition of cremated remains. Funeral or memorial services can be held in a place of worship, a funeral home, or a crematory chapel.

What is important to remember is that funerals and memorial services fill an important role for those mourning the death of a loved one. They are often the first step in the healing process, and the rituals involved provide a number of comforts to those who are grieving. Cremation is not an alternative to such a service, but merely a step in the process. There are a wide variety of options available to you and your loved ones as you think about your own needs, and your local funeral home is ready to walk you through every step of the way. Whether it’s a small memorial service or a large funeral, the key is to develop a meaningful celebration of life.

Funerals Without Preachers!

More people are planning their funerals without a traditional religious ceremony. And the inclusion of clergy also has become an option, according to a recent survey about growing secularism in society. As reported in the USA Today, more than one in four U.S. adults (27%) said that when they die, they don’t expect to have a religious service, according to a national survey of 6,000 people conducted at Trinity College in Hartford, Conn.
      The survey revealed that a growing number of people want to celebrate a loved one’s life at a funeral or memorial service without clergy — sometimes even without God. And that’s giving rise to the new specialty of pastoral-style secular celebrants who deliver unique personalized eulogies without the rituals of institutional religion. Also the Official Catholic Directory shows a 23% drop in the rate of Catholic funerals for parish-identified Catholics from 1988 to 2008.
      John Reed Sr., president of the National Funeral Directors Association, said 50% of Americans today say they don’t belong to a church and don’t see value in a religious funeral. But “they still want ceremony and celebration at the end of life.”

I Want To Sell My Grave Spaces NOW!

We’ve heard this a lot lately. People contact us and want to know how they can sell their property and what the property is worth.

We always ask them if they’ve decided not to die. I mean why would you want to sell property? Need quick cash perhaps?

Did you know that most cemeteries let you place cremated remains in a grave space that was originally purchased for traditional burial? That’s right.

What happens is that people decide to get cremated but have no idea what the process entails.

There still needs to be memorialization. When you scatter your loved one, that’s it. They’re gone. You have nowhere to go and connect with that person.

Ever wonder why people come back to a cemetary to visit loved ones thirty years later? They need a place to connect with their memories. They look at a bronze marker with a birth date and death date and written tributes.

Think twice before you sprinkle your loved one. Most of the time you will live to regret it!

FACEBOOK Death Policy?

Legacy Locker has provoked a lot of discussion about what actually happens to your Facebook profile after you pass away. While Facebook thrusts your personal life into the glaring spotlight of friends and family, I’ve found that it can also be a very personal experience in that nothing else currently in the social space really tells the “Story of You” the way Facebook does.

Where else can you get a complete snapshot of a person’s life? From a data standpoint, it’s certainly more detailed than a resume or even a trusted friend’s knowledge and opinion of you. Your “friends” know where you were born, grew up, attended school, work and even vacation. Your “friends” know your interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes and even other friends and social circles. If you’d like to sign up for legacy locker please go to the site (LegacyLocker.com) and make sure you use one of these two coupon codes:

$5 discount on an Annual Subscription = funeraldigest5
$50 discount on a Lifetime Subscription = funeraldigest50

Then there’s the connectivity aspect of the information housed. At any given time, I’m engaged in a dozen conversations across cities, states, time zones and oceans. People know (either publicly or privately) my thoughts on events, postings and pictures. I promote parties and initiatives, support causes and poke fun at friends all within the Facebook world. It very much is a good representation of who I am. If I kept a diary, it would be subjective, colored by my own opinions and perception of reality. Facebook conveys the raw and unfiltered me.

This begs the question: What would I want to happen to my Facebook profile when I’m no longer around? Now, I’m young and am of the opinion that I’ll live forever. Current statistical analysis proves otherwise. Should I even care what happens to my Facebook profile? What value does it have to anyone but me in the here and now?

My thoughts on this subject have been evolving over the past year and I’ve come to the conclusion that it is my responsibility to put a clear plan of action in writing. While some may not appreciate their own account (which I clearly do), friends and loved ones probably ascribe some value to it. The responsible and mature choice, therefore, is to leave access to a trusted friend or family member and instruct them on how I want to be remembered. Leaving it up to chance is akin to not leaving a Will; inconsiderate at best and selfish at worst.

Many people have expressed that they don’t want their Facebook profile memorialized in any fashion. More than one friend has said, “I want my profile to die with me.” The idea of a virtual ‘Do Not Resuscitate’ is a brand new concept and something your next-of-kin would not know unless specifically instructed to carry out your wishes. All of this cannot happen without making proper arrangements.

But what happens if I don’t make these arrangements?

Facebook will not just give your next-of-kin access. They clearly state that it’s against their Privacy Policy to do so. Furthermore, the 1986 Electronic Communications Privacy Act prevents the disclosure of stored communications unless there is a court order. This means litigation.

If your family is intent on gaining access to your Facebook account, they’ll have to resort to legal action against Facebook. Not surprisingly, this is becoming increasingly more common. I recently spoke with an attorney in the Pacific Northwest who litigated such a case.

The deceased was a young adult who had been hit by a drunk driver while on his motorcycle. The mother was aware that her son was a prolific Facebook user and wanted access as part of the grieving process. She wanted the ability to communicate with his friends and maintain the connection to her son. His virtual self was one of the key things she had left to remember him by.

Initially, the mother had full access to her son’s account and used it to notify friends and family of events as well as maintain it as a forum to remember. Eventually, Facebook became aware of her unauthorized access and changed the password to protect the “user’s” privacy. That’s when the grieving mother had to retain legal counsel.

The Attorney filed a complaint against Facebook seeking access to the deceased son’s account. Eventually, the parties entered into what is called a “Negotiated Settlement” whereby the court issued a stipulated order that allowed Facebook to comply with its Privacy Policy while not being in violation of the law. Only then could the family get the information they were looking for.

Facebook eventually provided the parents an electronic snapshot of their son’s Facebook page to see everything contained within it. This included all messages, wall postings and photographs. Facebook also permitted ongoing access to the public portion of the page. This is akin to the view that any “friend” would have of the page. Facebook further cooperated by placing a link directing new traffic and messages to a website the family maintained in honor of their son. Finally, the account was to be deleted one year from the date of the court order.

This is not the only example of a case or incident of this type, just one anecdote (among many) from an attorney with whom I am acquainted. Other cases along these lines have been publicized in the news media, including a story by Ben Popken in The Consumerist.

Needless to say, such an undertaking can be very expensive and time consuming. From what I understand, the plaintiffs were in the unique position of having readily accessible legal representation. Most of us are not as fortunate in this regard. I doubt if another family in the same situation would have the resources and connections to take on Facebook. Much heartache, time and expense could have been avoided by circumventing this entire process through the Legacy Locker service.

Have you given any thought about what happens to your virtual self on Facebook? Do you know anyone who has had to deal with a similar situation? Do you think people should leave instructions concerning how they want their profiles to be handled? I’m very interested in your thoughts and look forward to reading them.

Gregg Delman
Director of Business Development

Disclaimer:
This Blog/Web Site is made available by Legacy Locker, Inc. for educational purposes only, not to provide legal advice. The Blog/Web Site should not be used as a substitute for competent legal advice from a licensed professional attorney in your state.

Please note that the material contained in this blog is not legal advice and is not to be relied upon in a court of law. Furthermore, any federal tax advice contained in this communication, including attachments and enclosures, is not intended or written to be used, and may not be used, for the purpose of (i) avoiding tax-related penalties under Internal Revenue Code or (ii) promoting, marketing or recommending to another party any tax related matters addressed herein.

I’m Going To Be Scattered-Don’t Need To Make Funeral Plans

Last time we checked, you need a funeral director to cremate your remains. So if it is your intention to be cremated and you know without a shadow of a doubt that this is your decsion, then go ahead and make arrangements.
Did you know that you can pre pay for your cremation and freeze the everything at today’s price? Ok, I guess “freeze” is a bad term, but you get what we’re trying to convey here.
So you’ve finally figured out that you are going to die, and that you need to take this burden off of your survivors. That’s a good thing. So now call your nearest funeral provider and tell them you would like to pay for your cremation in advance.
Or better yet, contact us, and we will make sure that you are contacted by a reputable funeral director who will help you make your final arrangements.
You will gain peace of mind knowing that everything has been taken care of long before there was a death. Once you pre arrange everything you receive an id card that you carry in your wallet that says: “At time of death please call this number”.
Pretty cool huh? You arrange to be picked up at time of death and taken to the funeral home. When the family comes in to meet with the funeral director, they will find out that everything was taken care of and all plans were made.
So if it is your intention to be scattered all over the place, then go ahead and make those arrangements. If you don’t, and the family doesn’t know what you want, then guess what? They may have you embalmed and stick you in a casket and bury you. And if you have a phobia about being buried, then you are SOL.
So, doesn’t it make sense to go ahead and make your final arrangements and get everything taken care of long before there’s been a death?
Sure it does. We know, because we are comprised of funeral professionals that work and meet with families every day.

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